I Can't be Happy
by AllTheGoodPenNamesAreUsed
Summary: 'She told herself it didn't matter. As long as Belarus was happy so was she.' How long can Liechtenstein keep telling herself this as she sees the one she loves with Ivan? One-shot. Mild Language. Yuri. Slight OOCness. Drama. Hints of RoChu and AustriaxSwitzerland


**Anime- Hetaia Axis Powers Pairing- Belarus/ Liechtenstein . Disclaimer- I don't own Hetalia! It belongs/was created by Mr. Hidekaz Himaruya.**

**I absolutly love this pairing and I was a little dissapointed in how few fanfictions there were about them. Warnings- Lot's of drama/angst. Mild Language. Yuri. Slight OOCness.**

How long had little Lili loved Natalya? Lili would like to say from the first day she met her but that would be a complete lie; the first time she'd seen the older nation she couldn't help but shiver in fear. The only thing that kept her around to exchange a few words being Ukraine's encouragement.

She'd been so surprised when later on Belarus had asked her how to become nicer. She'd explained it was to get closer to Ivan. Of course being the kind person she was Lili had agreed to help her.

As their 'nice lessons' continued Lili had fallen in love with the older girl. Not the person that would be warm, kind and caring just to get closer to Mr. Russia but the real Natalya who threw knives, loved the occult, spaced out, loved cooking and squealed over cute and fluffy dogs. Over time Lili felf she could call Belarus a friend and felt she knew a side of Natalya that others didn't. It wasn't long before Lili started to feel a little more than friendship to the other girl.

Liechtenstein had been considering telling Natayla her feelings and she'd even prepared the place well to confess her feelings during a nice lesson they were having soon. Lili had looked up eagerly as Belarus came in wearing a bright smile as she said the words that crushed her heart.

"Russia invited me to dinner!" Belarus exclaimed happily, hugging the frozen little girl exclaiming many 'thank you's. Lili had forced on a smiled and congratulated her though and eventually they had departed.

She told herself it didn't matter, as long as Belarus was happy so was she. They could still be friends and be close.

Yet it hurt. Every time Liechtenstein saw the other at a World meeting she felt something tug at her heart and her eyes water.

Every time Belarus called Lili or came over for tea or some other activity and she started jabbering about Ivan she would fall into silence and look away so the other couldn't see the pain in her eyes.

_~Present~_

"Please Big Bruder. I don't want to go." Lili begged her older brother. It's been two yuears exactly since Lili had had her heart broken, the date along with seeing Russia and Belarus wouldn't exactly help her pain.

Switzerland sighed, he had no idea why his sister didn't want to go but they both had to attend. "Lili we have to go."

"Fine." Liechtenstein consented bitterly pulling her slippers over her feet, she was wearing her dress today along with the usual hair ribbon.

When they finally arrived the two were one of the last ones there and most people were already seated, small arguments already beginning to erupt.

Lili kept her head down, following her brother and taking her usual seat on his left while on his right sat Mr. Austria.

"You look down little Liechtenstein. Something is wrong, da?"

Unwillingly Lili looked up, green eyes glaring daggers at a smiling Russia. Before she could snap back a sweet voice interrupted her. "Big Bruder don't tease Lili."

Liechtenstein looked to Russia's right to see the person who hurt her holding the hand of Ivan. Belarus didn't look real, she wore make-up which she had never worn before, she'd only worn it to be attractive to Ivan. She was wearing modern clothing, not the old fashioned things she loved so much.

Before anything else could occur Germany called the meeting to a start. Lili droned it out instead she found herself glancing at Belarus, trying to find the Belarus she knew before.

Finally it was break time. Lili stood up to go talk to Natalya but she saw Russia leave the room. Confused the small blonde followed at a distance. She lost the sight of the large nation for a few minutes but quickly caught up. She turned the corner and froze at the sight that greeted her.

China and Russia, practically eating each other faces off. There was a gasp behind her and the small blonde turned to see Balrus behind her, eyes glazed over slightly, fully of hurt.

Liechtenstein didn't know what she was doing. She felt anger, rage, disgusted. The little nation hadn't felt these things so strongly before and she immeaditly lost her innocent face and stomped over. The two nations stopped and Russia turned, nervous looking. "Oh, Lili, you should be with your brother, da?" China slipped away.

"Shut up!" Lili shouted angrily. "Shut up! Shut up! Please! You piece of shit!"

"You don't deserve Miss. Natayla! She gave you everything, even remade herself for you! She's really a kind, sweet, beautiful country and she dedicated herself to you and you betrayed her." Lili screamed, tears flowing out of her green eyes. "You don't deserve her! I probably don't either. No one does! She's an amazing country that's too good for anybody!"

Vision foggy Lili punched Russia in the stomach. Of course she wasn't that strong and didn't effect the larger country but she didn't care. Angry and still crying Lili pushed past Belarus and ran to the Womens restroom.

_~A month later~_

Liechtenstein continued to sulk in her room. Once again her thoughts returned to the world meeting last month. She had left soon after that and explained to her brother that she had felt sick.

For the past month Lili had contacted anyone, she refused to answer her phone and the only people she talked to where her brother and boss. Most people would be happy something like this would happen, their crush breaking up with their boyfriend so they were finally 'available'. But not Lili.

She remembered all of Natayla's sacrifices for her brother. The years Lili had spent just trying to be happy for Bela. She cried for Belarus. And also because of her crappy confession that had been said during her insult/speech to Russia.

There was a knock on her door. "Yes?" The door creaked open and there was Switzerland's voice. "Belarus is here to visit you."

**Belarus's POV**

Big Bruder had betrayed me. I kinda knew all along but seeing it hurt so much. Seeing it crushed the thin wall of lies I had been telling myself. But what really shocked me was what little Liechtenstein said.

Did she really think that? Why had she been crying?

It's not till a few days later that I realize it was somewhat of a confession. I thought about it for a month, there wasn't another way to interpret it really. So I started thinking, did I like Lili?

She was sweet, kind,small, cute, pretty, brave. There were too many things to list.

How long had I had these feelings? Where these feelings part of the reason I had felt myself drifting away from brother, why I had looked forward so much to the lessons and get together Lili and I had. Why I felt so happy when she had called me?

I loved Liechtenstein.

My heart was racing, my palms were sweating. I was back to my usual old fashioned clothes and bow, a knife hidden underneath my dress and face missing any of the make-up I'd been using to look better for Ivan. Switzerland opened Lili's bedroom door and quickly let me in, he knew exactly why I was here but still he closed the door and left us alone.

Hesitantly I stepped forward and sat on the side of Lil's bed. Liechtenstein was looking at me,shocked, her face a tinge of pink. "Oh um Miss. Belarus. Why are you here?" I flinched inwardly, ever since I felt I could call her 'friend' I'd insisted she'd call me Natayla.

"I wanted to talk about the last world meeting." I said bluntly. _Shit, shouldn't have said that! _Too late, Lili had already stood up off the bed, slightly pink, shaking her head but with a determined look. "T-that! I know how much you like Ivan and stuff. So as your friend I felt angry about it and-"

I suddenly thought thius was a bad idea, what if all those things had been something a friend would say for another? I interrupted her rambling.

"It sounded like a confession to me." Lili blushed brighter and a few tears spilled over and she started to stutter, not sounding like the beautiful and confident Liechtenstein I loved. "I-I'm sorry. I know y-you don't feel the same. I understand completely if you don't want to talk to me anymore." I once again cut off her rambling but this time by pressing my lips against hers. It was only for a second.

I pulled away and showed her the flowers from behind my back. They were Lilies.

"Liechtenstein I didn't realize it. I guess I was just veiling myself, but.. I love you. I've never loved Russia. When you started calling me Natayla- that's when I loved you. So please don't cry anymore. I can't be happy if you're not. Do you want to go get dinner?"

Lili's face was blank for a few minutes but finally she smiled, more tears coming and she threw herself at Belarus and a hug.

Outside her door Switzerland smiled.

**End.**

**A/N- Geez.. I don't think I'm too good at writing these fluffy/angsty stuff but I've had these plot bunny in my head for so long~ I just realized I write a lot of fluffy stuff. Don't worry I'm thinking about doing a little lemon one-shot later.**


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